Cantor Deborah Katchko-Gray

Cantor Deborah Katchko-Gray

Friday, 06 July 2018 13:43

Tisha B’Av Day of Remembrance

The ninth of Av, in Hebrew Tisha B’Av, has been a day of remembrance and mourning since 

586 B.C.E. when the Babylonians destroyed the Holy Temple in Jerusalem and sent the Jews into exile. That day inspired the psalmist to write, “By the rivers of Babylon, we sat down and wept when we remembered Zion” (Psalm 137:1) Jews were permitted to return to Israel after the Babylonians were defeated to restore their homeland, but in 70 C.E. the Romans destroyed the Holy Temple and sent the Jews into exile yet again.  This exile ended almost 2000 years later with the establishment of the State of Israel in l948. Whether by coincidence or tragic fate, the destruction of both temples occurred on the same date, the ninth of Av. 

The Ninth of Av is a day that has taken on mythical and historical significance as a day of tragedy for the Jewish people. The Spanish Inquisition in l942 when the Jews were expelled from Spain occurred on Tisha B’Av.  On the eve of Tisha B’Av the mass deportation began of Jews from the Warsaw Ghetto, en route to Treblinka, concentration death camp. 

As we remember the destruction of the temples in Jerusalem and the exile of Jews from Jerusalem, from Spain, and the incomprehensible tragedy of the Holocaust, we are strengthened by the mandate to resist the enemy and never give up in the face of our foes. 

Today the State of Israel celebrates 70 years of rebirth since l948, and yet faces a nuclear and belligerent Iran who still threatens to destroy Israel, the Hamas terrorists who send rockets, missiles, and balloons filled with bombs to destroy and murder, and the failed leadership of the Palestinians who reject every single peace offer and still “pay to slay” rewarding terrorists for murdering Israelis. The BDS movement to boycott Israel economically is misguided and unethical. The tide is beginning to shift away from the hate, away from propaganda and Anti-Semitism.  16 US States, France, Spain have laws against BDS and so called activists are being turned away. Discrimination in the form of BDS (Boycott, Divestment and Sanctions) against Israel only is clearly immoral and racist. There is no BDS for Syria, Iran, Russia, North Korea or other countries supporting terror.  The US Embassy finally moving to Jerusalem is a step in the right direction. Other countries are doing the same: Guatemala, Paraguay, with Czech Republic, Romania and Honduras considering it. In the face of all this, Israel remains a modern miracle, a beacon of light and hope. A source of never ending technology and science to cure disease and improve our lives. 

For a country the size of New Jersey it is even more remarkable. There are 6000 startups currently in Israel! Countries are utilizing the technology of water conservation, solar hot water, computer innovations, and the Iron Dome rocket interception system. ReWalk, enables paraplegics to stand, walk and climb stairs; while a new robotic guidance system of spine surgery helps surgeons and patients. Nobel prizes abound from Israel, a tiny country with a tremendous brain power. If only Israel’s enemies sworn to destroy her put that hatred towards innovation and science, education and medicine, there would be less suffering and less ignorance. Arab states are now eager to form alliances to confront Iran and extremists. Israel recently won the Eurovision Song Contest and will host it next year. 

Remembering our tragedies has strengthened our will to live, to create, to heal and to help the world. 

On Tisha B’Av we remember the destruction of Jerusalem and welcome the rebirth of Israel, the return of the US Embassy and others to Jerusalem, and the modern miracle of a once exiled people returning to their homeland. The embrace of democracy and impressive scientific, cultural, and economic achievements are miraculous given the need for security against a barrage of hatred, wars and terror. 

Israel is the model for hope against despair; creation against destruction and a yearning for peace above all. 


Cantor Deborah Katchko-Gray

Ridgefield, CT

When I founded the Women Cantors’ Network in 1982, there were very few women who composed cantorial music. In fact, music often had to be adjusted for the voice of a woman cantor, sometimes even rewritten. But today, there are dozens of incredible women cantors who are composing for the synagogue. In the era of #MeToo, it is more important than ever that congregations #HearOurVoice and create spiritually safe places that respect women and use our work.

If you or your congregation is looking for more songs composed by women to sing, here is a list of amazing cantors whose work I regularly use in my own congregation. While it was difficult to narrow this down to seven (and my choices of course were purely subjective), I chose based off of melodies that really stick to your kishkes and bring the text to life. I also focused on cantors who have been composing for years; whose music is sung regularly in Reform, Renewal, Conservative, and Reconstructionist Congregations. But even as you read this, young composers are writing and their compositions will become the new “traditional” music in the future. There are dozens more composers whose work is worthy of attention, but hopefully this list can get you started.

Cantor Benjie Ellen Schiller. As a professor of Cantorial Arts at Hebrew Union College (HUC) NYC, Benjie has inspired a new generation of cantors and exposed them to her passion for meaningful Jewish music. Choirs all over the world sing her “Halleluhu Psalm 150” and her new “Oseh Shalom” has been performed with orchestra and world class singers. Personally, I sing “May You Live to See Your World Fulfilled” at every B’nai Mitzvah and “Zeh Dodi” at every wedding. Benjie is also publishing a songbook in the near future—it belongs in every cantor’s library! Her CD, A World Fulfilled, is magnificent.

Cantor Natasha Hirschhorn. Natasha is the Music Director of Congregation Anshe Chesed in New York City and is part of the faculty both of HUC and the Jewish Theological Seminary. Her music is haunting and unusual. My congregation’s choir sings her rendition of “Oseh Shalom” during the High Holidays, and I believe that her “Yesh Adonai Bamakom Hazeh” (“G-d was in this place and I did not know”) has the power to cause a spiritual awakening every time it is sung.

Cantor Robbi Sherwin. Robbi is a force of nature—a unique mandolin playing cantor/rabbi who plays with the popular band, Sababa, and has been a leader in the Women Cantors’ Network. She and Marci Vitikus (also a member of the Women Cantors’ Network) co-wrote “Atah Kadosh,” which my congregation uses to complete the chanting aloud of the Amidah each week. Her “Maariv Aravim” and “Love Adonai Your G-d” are also both notable.

Cantor Rachelle Nelson. Rachelle is a composer of Jewish music from South Florida. She has created several songbooks and CDs and also runs In the Spirit Music Foundation, which encourages writing new inspirational Jewish liturgical music. She graduated in 1984 from HUC’s School of Sacred Music (now the Debbie Friedman School of Sacred Music). Her “Modim Anachnu Lach” is a Hebrew-English prayer of giving thanks that I use at my interfaith Thanksgiving services.  

Beth Styles. Beth is a producer/composer/musician/vocalist and a popular Artist in Residence at synagogues. As a composer, her music is fresh and unusual, a mix of Jewish gospel flavored with deeply spiritual and lush melodies that stick to your kishkes. I met Beth in the 1980s when she produced my first CD, Jewish Soul. (She also produced for Diana Ross.) Years later, she is a frequent musical guest in my synagogue creating a “Shabbat Experience” that moves and inspires. I could list a dozen of her songs, but “Grateful,” “Light These Lights,” “Mi Sheberach,”  “Shehecheyanu,” “Hashkivenu,” “Adonai S’fatai,” and “Shabbat Shalom” have now become “traditional” songs in my synagogue.

Cantor Lisa Levine. Lisa is a worship artist, songwriter, recording artist, and yoga prayer facilitator, who has been writing music for over 30 years. She created “Yoga Shalom,” combining Yoga and Jewish prayerful movement and worship. Her songbooks and CDs are numerous and well received, though I love her “Mi Sheberach” and “V’shamru” in particular. These tunes are essential parts of my Shabbat services, bringing an easy singing and soulful quality to song and worship.

Ellen Allard. Ellen is arguably the best known children’s composer and teacher around today. Her captivating energy and catchy tunes are classics in the preschool communities. “Holy Holiness” is one of those rare songs that can be perfect for three year olds, teenagers leading a service and/or any intergenerational group praying. The piece’s simple repetition of beautiful lyrics, like the phrase, “All around everywhere, holy holiness,” is transformative. “I feel like an angel,” said one young boy after singing this work. That’s what I hope to create in a service—a sense of holy transcendence, a feeling that is uplifting and peaceful. “Holy Holiness” does that every time!

Want more music written by women? The Women Cantors’ Network is soon publishing a new songbook that will shed light on many known and unknown composers.


This blogpost was initially published by Live from the Lilith Blog on January 30, 20178 by Deborah Katchko Gray

Kol Isha—the voice of a woman. In many Orthodox circles, it is forbidden to hear the voice of a woman singing publicly.

I was not expecting concerns around kol isha to come up in the egalitarian community where I have been blessed to serve a congregation for 18 years. Yet when a community-wide Chanukah menorah lighting was being planned, it was pointed out that if I were to sing the Orthodox community would not be able to be a sponsor of the event. 

I have been a cantor over 40 years—since the age of 19. I’m a fourth-generation cantor whose family was almost completely destroyed in the Holocaust.

You’re really going to tell me I can’t sing in public?

The debates around kol isha are based on one sentence uttered by the Amora Samuel in Babylon, circa 220 CE. Samuel said “kol b’isha ervah—a woman’s voice is like nakedness, unchaste, and improper.” Over the centuries, this phrase has been expanded with rabbinic interpretations, until the Rabbi Moshe Sofer (who died in 1839) ruled that hearing a woman’s voice was forbidden. Later rabbinic authorities concurred, leading much of Orthodox Judaism, including Chabad and other Hassidic communities, to embrace this ruling. 

According to the heteronormative Orthodox interpretation, the voice of a woman is so sensual it would distract men from concentrating on prayers. Because women have more self-control, we can listen to men, but men are so weak they would be tempted. As Golda Meir wisely said many years ago when the government suggested a curfew for women in order to address sexual violence, “If men are the ones raping, let them have the curfew!” If a woman’s voice is so distracting to men, then, get some control of yourself!

This is not about the Orthodox versus the non-Orthodox. In fact, it was an Orthodox, Lubavitch-leaning progressive rabbi who told me I should lead the High Holy Day services for the 2000 member Conservative congregation at Boston University Hillel in 1976. He said that kol isha didn’t apply to the modern world anymore. This Orthodox rabbi encouraged my cantorial career because he understood that a centuries-old interpretation of a statement in 220 CE couldn’t rationally be applied in the present day.  

I began studying to be a cantor at a time when there were very few other women in the profession, though I grew up surrounded by hazzanut. (Both my father and my grandfather were cantors.) I was the second woman to serve a Conservative full-time pulpit in Norwalk, CT, in 1981. In 1982, I founded a national organization of women cantors to strengthen each other, sing and learn together. The Women Cantors’ Network, now with a membership of over 250, is a lifeline for many women (and a few men) in the cantorate, and I’m very proud of its journey.

Indeed, the American Jewish community has gone on a journey striving towards gender equity. The majority of the cantors recently ordained are now women. We have a right to lead our synagogues and communities in a public platform. So why are we still worrying about kol isha? That my not singing at a community event was ever considered is problematic, and demonstrates that this is an issue that needs to be discussed openly. Should the views of a few dictate the direction of an event for the entire community?

A follower was surprised I was so upset, “It’s not about you, it’s not about your voice.”

You’re right. It’s about the voice of every woman who wants to sing in public! It’s about respect for the American Jewish community, which is now led by hundreds of women rabbis and cantors.

I won’t be told that my voice is not welcome in public because of an extreme belief based on an interpretation that is not actually Jewish law. Customs and traditions have been reinterpreted over the centuries. It’s past time that we reinterpret this one.

If hearing a woman’s voice is not acceptable to some, then please stay away from our public celebrations and gatherings, so you won’t be tempted by the voice of a woman cantor.

Our tradition says, “Don’t separate yourself from the community.” 

We are the community.   

Don’t separate yourself from us. 




This blogpost was initially published by Live from the Lilith Blog on December 8, 2017 by 

Tuesday, 05 September 2017 14:17

Hashkivenu One day Mashup at Beth Style's party

Beth Styles, piano New World Chorus Founder, Composer, Director Shir Shalom Guest Musician!
Cantor Shira Lissek, Park Ave Synagogue
Cantor Deborah Katchko-Gray, Shir Shalom
Jason Terry, Choir Director New World Chorus
Wednesday, 29 March 2017 15:03

Thoughts on Teaching the Holocaust

by Cantor Deborah Katchko-Gray

There are more questions than answers. Perhaps there are no good answers anyway, but we must ask the questions to remain human. Elie Wiesel of blessed memory was the teacher of teachers, our modern day prophet who dared ask questions and dared to admit there are no good answers. His answer was to remember- remember the victims, remember the history of the victims and yet, reject despair and continue to hope.

Prof. Avinoam Patt, of the University of Hartford presented an excellent workshop at the Museum of Jewish Heritage last November. He acknowledged “the enormous challenge of teaching the Holocaust, and the sacred burden of memory.” He focused on literature, diaries, memoirs and fiction to help students develop empathy. The Diary of Chaim Kaplan shared fears, rumors, and the struggle of daily life. In l940, he thought this is the worst it could get- having no idea what was lying ahead in the concentration camps. In the face of life and death, remarkably the ghetto library still celebrated the loan of the 100,000th book. In A Diary in the Vilna Ghetto, Hermann Kruk shared, “ Today there was a celebration in the ghetto- the loan of the 100,00th book from the ghetto library...reading books in the ghetto is the biggest treat there is. Books link us to freedom; books connect us to the world.” If you want to understand Jewish values, it is right here- study, intellectual growth, and moral values. Prof. Wiesel taught us that having advanced degrees like the Nazi leadership was useless without moral and ethical education.

I remember a class with Prof. Elie Wiesel when he described the sheer joy and privilege of holding a prayer book. It shook me to my core- really? How many times have I held a prayer book, and how many times did I feel it was a privilege? This was the first time I understood the power of prayer- imagine being in a concentration camp and the mere act of owning a prayer book would be met with instant death.

Elie Wiesel described the power of holding a prayer book in your hands. The connection to our ancestor’s prayers, our prayers, our connection to G-d and the hope and strength we can get from that connection.

Reading and studying the diaries of the Holocaust can bring us closer to the hearts and souls that were lost. Those brave enough to defy the Nazis and write down the daily atrocities for future generations. Risking one’s life to write something you’re not even sure will survive you. The least we can do is read them and remember.

Primo Levi wrote, “ If This Is a Man”…I commend these words to you- carve them in your hearts…”

Elie Wiesel wrote in “ Night”, “ … never shall I forget those moments that murdered my G-d and my soul and turned my dreams to ashes. Never shall I forget those things, even were I condemned to live as long as G-d Himself. Never.”


This article was first published on Forward

Prof. Wiesel taught us that to be Jewish was not only a miracle but a holy responsibility to remember and continue.


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